This article first appeared in the St. Louis Beacon: October 20, 2008 - We have met, at long last, the Everyman of the supply-side school of economics. He’s the rugged American individualist that generations of right-wing theorists have sought to free from the burdens of union dues, medical coverage, workmen’s compensation insurance, pension benefits and OSHA health and safety regulations.
Finally unchained, this economic Atlas can sally forth to forge his own destiny amid the blessings of a free market, unconcerned with the bothersome annoyances of the nanny state. I speak, of course, of “Joe the Plumber” who was briefly famous last week after John McCain made him the centerpiece of his economic narrative during the final presidential debate.
McCain has developed an unsettling tendency to embrace random strangers to resuscitate his campaign. First he drafted an obscure governor from the frozen tundra to steal some of the thunder generated by the Democratic National Convention. Reportedly, he had met Sarah Palin exactly once before naming her as his running mate. Then, he selected Joe the Plumber — whom he’d never met — to put a human face on the miseries of progressive taxation. These choices appear to have been somewhat under-vetted.
Gov. Palin, we now learn, is not only a maverick but also a party to some kind of on-going Yukon controversy involving, among other things, an ex-brother-in-law, a taser gun and a dead moose. Along with her rather colorful family history, she brought geographical balance to the ticket, citing Alaska’s proximity to Russia as a foreign policy credential. After a disastrous in-depth interview with Katie Couric, she’s steered clear of the working press until a bit of self-parody on Saturday Night Live.
The trouble with putting a face on a myth is that the face invariably comes with a story of its own. Joe the Plumber, whose resume did not fare well under the light of day, is no exception.
The press reports that Joe is actually Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, a 34-year-old resident of suburban Toledo. Joe apparently prefers to be known by his middle name, which is hardly unusual. (In fact, I write under the byline of M.W. Guzy to avoid confusion among friends who know me by my first name and those who refer to me by my second.) The “plumber” part of Joe’s moniker is bit more troubling.
Joe had a brief exchange with Barack Obama while the candidate was campaigning in Ohio recently. He told Obama that he was “ready to buy” his boss’ business which made $250,000 - $280,000 a year and wanted to know if Obama’s tax proposal would raise his taxes. Obama dutifully explained that the first quarter million in profits would be unaffected; amounts in excess of that sum would be subject to a 3 percent increase — but that increase might be offset by other aspects of his plan. A pretty ordinary encounter during another long day on the stump.
After McCain chose to make Joe the poster child for the evils of socialism, however, the press descended upon the poor chump and his story got a little plumbing of its own. We now know that Joe is not, nor has he ever been, a licensed plumber in the city of Toledo, in surrounding Lucas County, or in the state of Ohio.
Confronted with this inconvenient fact, Joe explained that he worked under his boss’ license. The Toledo Plumbing Board of Control in turn explained that such an arrangement is illegal and is considering sanctions against Joe and his employer, Al Newell — who is probably not thrilled by all the free publicity. Being unlicensed, he can’t be in the union. Absent a union card and a state license, Joe the Plumber would be more accurately described as “Joe the plumber’s friend.”
Further, it turns out that he has little to fear from Obama’s tax plan. When Joe was divorced in 2006, court records listed his annual income as $40,000. He could increase that sum by six times over and still not see his taxes rise. And business records indicate that the firm he planned to buy, Newell Plumbing and Heating Co., had gross revenues of $100,000 last year. Deduct expenses from that amount, and Joe’s got plenty of room for growth before he reaches the next tax bracket. His concern about taxation is understandable, however, as the press discovered a county lien against Joe’s house for unpaid taxes in place since January 2007.
In fact, Joe’s plan to buy the business is itself a bit vague. Under further questioning, it devolved from a pending deal, to an idea he and his boss had “talked about from time to time.” In short, Joe’s entrepreneurial ambitions are reminiscent of the Chicago Cubs fans who were buying options for World Series tickets at Wrigley Field last month: a largely delusional enterprise predicated upon an extremely unlikely turn of events.
Considering the amount of BS that politicians put out, I have no problem with one of them getting a little of their own in return. What’s puzzling is why guys like Joe are convinced that public policies that would help them are un-American, while the politics that keep them broke, underinsured and delinquent on their bills are somehow patriotic.
In less sensitive times, there was a joke in the building trades that the two essential things you needed to know to be a successful plumber were that payday is on Friday and crap doesn’t run uphill. It’s unclear which of these principles Joe doesn’t get.
M.W. Guzy is a retired St. Louis cop who currently works for the city Sheriff's Department. His column appears weekly in the Beacon.